Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Very Big Little Things

Difficulty changes the way you assess life. It simply shrinks your calculations. In moments of suffering you tend to calculate life in small increments. You look for little signs of progress and small signs of help. You search for little indications that you are not alone and small evidences that things are getting better. You find you are thankful for smaller things and express gratitude over what you once would not notice.

In difficulty you are reduced to living life in small moments and little steps. Difficulty sticks you in the middle of some big thing that you did not have in your plan, so in the middle of it you search for little signs of progress, hope, strength, and life. In difficulty those little things are no longer little. They are huge and important. The little side-comment of the doctor takes on huge significance. The little note of encouragement is big enough to get you through the day. The alleviation of a minor pain stands as a sign of major progress. A few steps take on the importance of completing a marathon. In difficulty you experience many very big little things.

Nicole had two very big little things in the last few days. First, she actually spent an overnight in her apartment in Center City. No, she is not ready to live there yet, and yes, it was a physically uncomfortable experience. But it also was a very big little step back toward the life she was living before May 19th. The second very big little thing was the purchase of a cane yesterday. It meant so much to Nicole. The cane will allow her to be a bit more mobile and more stable as she is mobile. It will also help communicate her condition to people who are around her in the outside world, and that protection is very important to Nicole.

So, we are very thankful for these very big little things. We are aware that difficulty has given us eyes that are more able to see the small things for which to be thankful and we are grateful that day after day we have little things to celebrate.


Blogger Rachel said...

I am so happy to hear how Nicole is progressing. Thank you so much for sharing!

8:05 PM  
Blogger Phoebe said...

To my 1st-ever Camp Susque chaplain,

Thank the Lord for these milestones! I hope you don't mind that I downloaded the photo from here of Nicole & it is now on our screen-saver slide show. To be able to comment here, I had set up an account that I have just added info to. It's interesting that where your daughter seems to be progressing, I seem to be regressing. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

1:51 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home