Tuesday, June 27, 2006

To Wait

It's where we are right now. It is what we are called to do day after day. Wait. Similar routine cascades upon similar routine. The borders of our every day world extend only as far as the walls of our house. Nicole's world has shrunk to just two rooms. The job description of each day is simply getting through the day. Nicole's body must be given time to heal. Time is the medicine of the moment. Time to heal is the gift we are endeavoring to give to her. But giving time to another person means being willing to wait.

The problem is that waiting is not a passive experience. As you are waiting your thoughts are not passive. As you wait your desires are not passive. All the other aspects of your life don't go on hiatus. While you wait, you are forced to let go of things that don't cooperate with you and stay the same. Life doesn't wait for your permission to continue. It isn't in tune with what you think you need to be doing or where your thoughts and desires are at the moment. Waiting is a war. While you wait, nagging questions battle with heartfelt thankfulness and willingness to serve combats with desires for it all to be over. Your acceptance of what has happened does battle with your wish that life would return to normal. Meanwhile you really do want to lovingly serve the person who has been so seriously injured. You do consider it an honor to be by the person's side; to be able to make God's love more visible, if just for a moment. Yet, doing what you really want to do takes you away from everything that would have comsumed your life before the accident.

So, maybe waiting isn't just waiting. Maybe waiting is not so much about passively passing the time until you get the thing for which you are waiting. No, perhaps waiting is more about what you are becoming as you wait. Being required to wait will change you in some way. No one is ever the same after they wait. The question is not simply, "How long do I have to wait?" No, the real question is, "How will the call to wait change me?"

Our prayer for Nicole is that this time of waiting will be a time of rich rewards and personal growth. We trust that this time will result in positive new directions and in an exciting fresh start. We trust that very good things will come out of a very bad thing. And we pray the same for ourselves as well.

Until then we wait.


Blogger beth hancock said...


I was in San Diego for the IBCD conference. My friend Chris and I had a few moments in the lobby with you. It was amazing to hear about the details of Nicole's accident and how God spared her life. (The day resonated for me. May 19th is my birthday.) It was more amazing to me that you could stay focused and teach. Evidence that you are fully reliant on God. Thank You. I visited the blog for the first time today. Nicole is such a beautiful young woman. Why God has chosen her, you, Luella, and your family for this assignment - I don't know. But - as Lewis said: "He is not safe, but He is good." God takes us into dangerous and difficult waters, but He is our captain.
As I read your entry today, I thought about one of Oswald Chamber's devotionals from My Utmost..." Please read August 2nd if you have a moment.
I know God will use this trial to grow all of you and make you even more capable and sharper instruments in His hands!!
Thank you for coming to the conference. God used your sacrifice and servant's heart and we are the grateful receipients.

In Him and for Him,
Beth Hancock
East Valley Bible Church
Gilbert, AZ

5:46 PM  

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